Days Off Are Meant To Be Restful
by Please.Insert.Name
Summary: Two FBI agents verses one crying toddler. Is should be easy, it really should, but, well, it isn't. Slight H/R slash.


SSA David Rossi. The image associated with that name was that of a skilled profiler, one of the best in fact, and a ladies man. He wasn't a slut, but he'd had his fair share of skirt in his time, and even now, in his 'golden years' he could still make a few hearts race.

The child clinging to his legs and screaming bloody murder was not part of this image.

"W, what do we do?" asked Spencer, clearly at a loss. Despite years of having to deal with the 'Reid affect' when it came to Jack he still never knew what to do when it actually happened, instead he clammed up.

A freaked FBI agent who looked more like a spooked rabbit was also not part of the image.

"Why did you call me? Do I look like Supernanny?" replied Rossi, allowing some of his well known sarcasm to leak into his voice.

"Uh, no. It, it's just that you've been around women, and, ah, you've been married three times so you must have some experience," stammered Spencer.

"Yes, and after three failed marriages I can't cope with crying women, let alone children!" said Rossi, attempting to pry the child off. It didn't work. In fact, Jack just held on tighter, it was like he was part monkey or something.

"I remember reading that children are easily distracted. Perhaps if we told him he could have ice-cream it would get him off," suggested Spencer, looking slightly more calm as he went into an area where he was well acquainted. Books never cried or puked, they were safe as far as Spencer was concerned. Jack wasn't a book though, and theory would only get them so far. Damn. Spencer wished Aaron was here.

"Jack, Jack," cooed Rossi, feeling slightly repulsed at how 'daddy-like' he sounded, "Do you want some ice-cream?"

"Where's daddy!" bawled the toddler in response, "He swaid he'd be baaack! He pwomised..."

"We've told you, Daddy got called away by his boss for a big meeting, but I'm here" said Spencer slowly, the last part made the boy cry harder.

"Mommy?" the whimper was barely heard by the two nonplussed men.

"She's out with Aunt Jessica, she'll be back soon," replied Rossi, at this rate the kid was going to have more than abandonment issues to deal with. He felt like Hotch was his son, but really, he wasn't. If he was then he would be used to the crying that came with 'toddler hood'. Logically, he knew it was unhealthy to think of a forty-three year old protégé as his son, but it was less hassle at least.

It was like magic. Jack's grip loosened, and he ambled away, half crawling to the lounge where Scooby Doo was playing. Personally, Rossi thought it was too scary for a three year old, but Jack liked the ghosts. Rossi never understood this either, the bad guys were obviously suffering from delusions if they thought dressing up as monsters would get them gold or whatever. It was really more concerning than entertaining, but to a toddler it was the best thing since sliced bread, and if it got him peace and quiet then he would gladly watch it.

After three hours he was not so glad. However, that could also be because Spencer solved them in less than five minutes before telling Rossi how he knew. Hannah-Barbera Productions were no match for Spencer Reid. It was rather sad how much pride the boy took in that.

Hearing a knock at the door, Rossi wondered if that's what nirvana sounded like.

"Hey, where's Aaron?" asked Haley, after Rossi opened the door, grateful to get away from the TV.

"Strauss called him in, Spencer never really knew how to handle Jack and I was free, so I offered to help him out," replied Rossi, showing the blonde into the apartment.

"Thank you for looking after Jack, he wasn't any trouble was he? He has trouble dealing with new people, I'm sure you saw that with Spencer, " asked Hayley, smiling when she thought of the young genius and his affect on children.

For a moment Rossi was tempted to tell her he was a monster, but he held his tongue, merely replying with a 'He was fine' and soon Hayley was on her way with toddler in hand.

Peace at last.

Grabbing a beer from the fridge - Hotch owed him, if Rossi had his way it would be far more than one beer - Rossi moved back to the lounge, seeing Reid stretched out on the couch, his eyes glued to the television. Seeing the older man enter, Spencer's eyes lit up.

"So as I was saying, it was obviously Old Man Jock, he's the only one with keys to the ferry-"

"But he was with his daughter the night the statue went missing, there's no way he could be the ghoul," countered Rossi, watching happily as Spencer's eyes dimmed slightly.

"His daughter is in on it too, didn't you see the look they shared when Velma wanted to look in their office?"

"I bet you fifty dollars it's the curator," challenged Rossi, a grin spreading on his face.

"Deal," replied Reid.

* * *

><p>Hotch closed the car door, wishing he could erase the last few hours from his mind. It had been his time with Jack, and Strauss had called him in for a budget meeting. Apparently he had been away when she met with the other Unit Chiefs, and so she deemed it fit to interfere with his down time. Moving into his apartment, he heard noise coming from the lounge.<p>

_"And the ghoul really is,"_ gasps were heard, _"Old Man Jock!"_

_"And I would have got away with it to, if it wasn't for you meddling kids,"_came an older voice. However, Hotch almost missed the last line as at the same time a cry of triumph resounded from the small room. Intrigued, he rounded the corner to see Rossi giving Spencer a few notes, and the credits to Scooby Doo on the TV.

"Hey Hotch, Spencer was struggling with Jack and called me," said Rossi, leaning back in his chair.

"Thanks for helping Dave, I had thought Jack would be used to him by now, I guess I was wrong." said Hotch, smiling at his young lover, "But why did someone cry out right now?"

"Rossi tried to bet against me," replied Spencer happily, storing his winnings in his trouser pocket.

"On what?" Now Hotch was definitely intrigued.

"Scooby Doo," came the answer.

"Dave, if you had asked me I would have told you not to do that. Spencer watches Scooby Doo as much as Jack, he knows the system," said Hotch, looking at his disgruntled best friend.

The only reply was, "Double or nothing?"

* * *

><p><em>AN: I wanted to write a humour fic without making Hotch a prominent character, I know he was in this, but the main focus was Rossi and Reid. That was a bit of a weird pairing, and so the only way I could justify them looking after Jack was if Reid was Hotch's boyfriend and he had no idea what to do. I hope you liked this, I'm not really used to writing Rossi or Reid so feedback would be appreciated :)  
><em>

_DISCLAIMER: I do not own Criminal Minds or Scooby Doo._

_I apologise for any spelling and/or grammar mistakes contained in this story._

_Please Review!_


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